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Suicidio Blogueril: Pegar un cachete no es maltrato

suicidio
Hoy más que nunca voy a hablar de un tema “extremadamente delicado”, “tabú” incluso y que desde hace unos días parece ser es “tendencia” (much@s han hablado de ello) y muy posiblemente sea un suicidio (por mi parte son “huevarios” dar mi opinión al respecto cuando muy posiblemente calladita estaría mejor… pero yo no soy así).
Quizás más que un suicidio una de las consecuencias de dejar plasmada aquí mi opinión (en mi casa, donde soy la jefa y hablo de lo que me da la gana), mi experiencia,  haga que el nombre MAMADEDOS aparezca en “esa lista negra” (esa que nadie se ha atrevido a confirmar, pero que existe) y por lo tanto el BOICOT A MAMADEDOS sea de “ipso facto”… (como lo fue a DODOT durante una temporadita larga cuando afirmó en prensa que un cachete a tiempo…….y que los tildaron de fomentar el maltrato infantil….. pero claro ellos son una marca….y esto JAMAS deberían haberlo publicado).
Allá que voy, asumiendo las consecuencias que me pueda acarrear y quiero dejar claro que escribo sobre esto porque quiero dejar mi opinión plasmada y NO PETAR EL CONTADOR DE VISITAS POR UN DIA DE GLORIA EN LA RED….. que ya sabemos de qué va el tema del 2.0)

A los niños no se les pega. Nunca. Jamás. Por favor, no pegues a tus hijos

Esa misma semana podíamos leer post “incendiarios” (de esos que la gente visita como borregos porque el tema está candente y petan contadores de retruc); post cargados de “Estoy en posesión de la verdad” “He dicho y digo”...e incluso ORDENO….. pero yo no puedo hablar en esta linea…..
Yo no voy a ir en esta línea, para nada, simplemente daré mi opinión porque creo que se ESTA SALIENDO DE MADRE cuando se EQUIPARA EL CACHETE O ZURRA CON EL MALTRATO INFANTIL. Y con esto no pretendo incitar ni a zurrar ni a dar un cachete eh?)
Y desde luego desde MAMADEDOS también grito a los cuatro vientos TOLERANCIA CERO ANTE CUALQUIER MALTRATO; YA SEA INFANTIL O NO.
Pero no mezclemos los churros con las meninas… No se puede EQUIPARAR, y creo modestamente que tampoco se puede GRITAR A LOS CUATRO VIENTOS que JAMAS, JAMAS se pegará a un hijo…. pienso que es más honesto decir que el cachete no es un modelo educativo ni válido ni recomendable y que como padres hemos de intentar por todos los medios no pegar a nuestros hijos.
Y cuando digo EQUIPARAR lo digo con mi conocimiento de causa ( no porque sea una verdad absoluta)… porque para nada quiero que una madre o padre que me lea a mi y a otros blogs y que en un momento determinado haya dado un cachete a su hijo (por el motivo que sea) se sienta MALTRATADOR ni por un segundo.
(imagino que llegados a este punto me debes ver pegando a mis hijas a cual peor madre del mundo….) pero lejos de esto lo único que quiero es hacer reflexionar de que hay que ir con mucho muchísimo cuidado de como se dicen las cosas y en que momento y contexto. Hemos de SABER MEDIR LAS PALABRAS.
No creo que haga falta que te diga que un MALTRATADOR es aquella persona que MALTRATA, disfruta haciéndolo y además lo efectúa con asiduidad.
NO CREO QUE NINGUN PADRE O MADRE, de esos normales como tú y como yo, válidos para tener hijos y educarlos; padres y madres con dos dedos de frente y en su estado mental cuerdo DISFRUTE PEGANDO A SUS HIJOS y mucho menos lo REITERTE A DIARIO PARA OBTENCION DE PLACER.
Desde luego quiero desde mi blog decir que una bofetada, cachete o zurra a tiempo NO ES justificación de educación Y NO HA DE SER NUNCA UN METODO EDUCATIVO COMO TAL.

No creo que ninguna madre que haya pegado en un momento puntual y determinado a su hijo deba ser tachada de “maltratadora”.
Una madre que ha dado un cachete no se siente orgullosa de ello, es más el sentimiento de culpabilidad que ha debido tener ha sido grande….. y es precisamente este sentimiento de culpabilidad y NO orgullo lo que la diferencia de un enfermo mental que maltrata (porque están enfermos, porque los maltratadores disfrutan, no se sienten culpables y se enorgullecen de lo realizado y por ese motivo se reiteran en sus maltratos).
Una madre que ha pegado en un momento puntual a su hijo no debe ser JUZGADA ni TACHADA ni debe SENTIRSE MALTRATADORA NI GENERADORA DE VIOLENCIA NI DFE AGRESIVIDAD. 
Pero tampoco creo que sea un método para imponer autoridad, ni ningún método válido para educar o frenar a nuestros hijos.

Otra de las afirmaciones que me ha dado más miedo leer por la red es que “si le pegas” estás creando un maltratador en potencia por aquello de la imitación….. vamos a ver…. NO… no lo puedo aceptar como válido… estamos afirmando una serie de cosas que NO. PARA NADA.
Porque somos humanos, erramos, nos equivocamos y (ojo al dato) nos equivocaremos en infinidad de ocasiones y no por ello se nos ha de condenar de esta manera.
Lógicamente desde que me convertí en madre INTENTO EDUCAR DE LA MEJOR MANERA QUE SE, con el mejor trato que pueda, con respeto, amor, cariño, dulzura, de manera empática, y en positivo… igual que tú. 
Pero me obligo a preguntar a todas aquellas personas que parece ser (por lo que escriben) que están en posesión de la verdad (absoluta):
¿Jamás te has equivocado educando a tus hijos?
¿Jamás has perdido los papeles, nervios o como lo quieras llamar, todo y haberte mentalizado y sabiendo que no hay que perderlos?
¿Realmente jamás has dado una zurra en el culete a tus hijos?
(haz tú un acto de contrición) 

Yo aveces me equivoco, no soy perfecta, a veces la maternidad me supera, a veces la maternidad me pone a prueba y al límite (no tiene manual, ni lo ha tenido nunca ni lo va a tener a partir de ya), a veces acabo hasta el gorro, a veces me saca de quicio (y no por ello tengo un trastorno ni de personalidad ni estoy loca), a veces me da hasta pereza llegar a casa y enfrentarme a ese trabajo del que jamás nos jubilamos, a veces he querido hasta desaparecer, coger aire y fuerzas para continuar, a veces necesito tiempo para mi… a veces sueño con estar 2 horas sin oír la palabra MAMA….. y para nada quiere decir sea una madre desnaturalizada.
Adoro a mis hijas, las quiero con locura, daría la vida por ellas, y son precisamente ellas las que me enseñan a diario a ser mejor madre.
Por todo ello YO NO PUEDO DECIRTE QUE JAMAS HAGAS ESTO U LO OTRO respecto a la educación de tus hijos, puedo sugerirte. No puedo JUZGAR NI CONDENAR de la manera que educas y crias……
Lo único que puedo sugerirte es que es MEJOR NO RECURRIR A ESE CACHETE O ZURRA, porque te sentirás fatal.
MAMADEDOS

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557 Comentarios

  • Responder
    Lois Nenúfar
    31 marzo, 2014 at 9:07 am

    Oioioioiiiiii pues yo no seré la que te apedree, porque tienes mucha razón.
    Vamos a ver, suscribo palabra por palabra lo que has dicho, vaya por delante que yo tampoco veo como método de educación el cachete, PERO, quien no ha perdido los papeles dando un azote en el culo a su hij@ que tire la primera piedra, y quien no se haya sentido después la persona más baja del mundo, que tire la segunda…
    Voy a hablar de MI MISMA, como hija, no como madre…a mi me han dado esos azotes en el culo, seguramente, mis padres en ese momento ya habrían perdido toda paciencia humana conmigo. Evidentemente, no los considero un MALTRATO (que es una palabra muy fuerte), si así hubiese sido, quizás los hubiese denunciado o no me hablaría con ellos…y mucho menos, por haber recibido un azote puntual, me he convertido en una maltratadora, afirmar algo así vamos….en este tema dos y dos no son cuatro por la gloria de mi padre.
    Supongo (y digo supongo…) que quien ha recibido malos tratos de los de verdad…de los de palizas, quizás diga, que ojalá lo suyo hubiese sido un azote en el culete un día y se acabó.
    En fin, que espero que no te lapiden, porque primero de todo aquí derecho a opinar tiene todo Dios, y segundo, porque no creo que hayas dicho nada como para hacerlo, y si lo hacen…..que se vayan a cascarla.
    Sigue con tus huevarios 😉
    Besos

    • Responder
      Bea
      31 marzo, 2014 at 11:13 am

      Amén.

      Seguire con esos huevarios……

      Muakis

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    no sabes lo de acuerdo que estoy contigo… además de madres/padres somos humanos y todos intentamos dar la mejor educación a nuestros enanos…
    un abrazo fuerte, Bea, y gracias por ser tan clara y directa y quitar la etiqueta de maltratadores a muchos padres.
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      Gracias a ti Laura…….porque el tema es muy delicado…. y la verdad es que me costó mucho escribirlo….. porque creo que seré muy criticada…. pero la verdad es que debía decirlo….

      Un Beso

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    Hola Bea,
    No creo que lo que has escrito hoy suponga ningún suicidio blogueril por que me consta que en la red, como en la vida 1.0, hay tantos que piensan como tu, como los hay que piensan como yo 😉

    Yo solo quería dejarte mi opinión que hoy , no es del todo, como la tuya.

    Antes de seguir solo una puntualización: NO soy perfecta, SI pierdo y he perdido los papeles con mis hijos y SI alguna vez les he dado un azote.

    Dicho lo cual mi opinión es que un azote NO es una paliza, pero SI es maltrato.Es tratar mal a alguien.

    No es una cuestión de lapidar a nadie, ni de hacer sangre y hacerl@ sentir la peor persona sobre la faz de la tierra, pero es necesario no justificarlo, ni validarlo, ni mucho menos minimizarlo, por que la idea es DERRIBAR la tolerancia hacia los malos tratos, sean del nivel que sean e infringidos a quien sean infringidos.

    Sigo sin entender por que se puede minimizar una bofetada a un niño y sin embargo condenar sin ambages el mismo echo hacia una mujer..

    Un maltratador no siempre es aquel que además disfruta de ese maltrato..los hay que maltratan por que piensan que es lo correcto, que es lo que hay que hacer, que no pasa nada por hacerlo y es mejor llorar ahora que hacerlo mas tarde cuando el "palito" ya esté torcido.

    Y en cuanto a lo de DODOT, es caso a aparte, yo participé de aquél boicot por que su sugerencia iba mucho mas allá de un azote a tiempo.

    Espero que no te moleste que haya pasado por tu casa a dejar mi opinión Bea, el intercambio de opiniones siempre es enriquecedor y a pesar de no creerme dueña de la verdad absoluta, si me gusta explicar mi absoluta verdad, la que he vivido en propias carnes.

    Un abrazo 😉

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      Para nada me molesta por dios!!!!!! Eso es lo que contruye y no destruye….. comentarios respetuosos como el tuyo.

      Gracias por tu opinión y por tu absoluta verdad que es tu experiencia.

      Un besote

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    Un abrazo

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    Tarde, como siempre últimamente, pero llego a tiempo para comentar, no? Es que no sé por qué, peor últimamente no soy capaz de organizarme para llegar a todo lo que pretendo. En cualquier caso, a lo que iba:
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    Buenas!!!
    Ante todo decirte que para nada me parece un suicido blogueril este post. Ya conoces mi opinión pero estoy de acuerdo contigo en muchas cosas.
    Yo nunca le he dado un cachete a mi hija (tiene 11 meses) y espero que nunca nunca nunca se me escape porque sé que yo no podría perdonármelo.
    Llamar "maltratadora" a una madre a la que se le ha escapado un cachete me parece una salvajada. No podemos frivolizar con el maltrato. Es mucho más que eso.
    Las historias que cuento en mis posts, bajo mi humilde opinión, sí que sobrepasan ese límite llegando a ser episodios violentos y que seguro forman parte de la rutina y del día a día de esas familias.

    Comparto tu punto de vista en muchos aspectos. Además forma parte de nuestra condición equivocarnos y la educación de un hijo es un camino difícil y desconocido en el que no sirven otras experiencias ya que cada hijo y cada madre y padre son diferentes a los demás.
    Aunque en algunas cosas pensemos diferente al final somos madres que amamos a nuestros hijos y que solo queremos educarles de la mejor manera.
    Errar es de humanos. Yo diría hasta que errar es de ser madre.
    Te agradezco que hayas compartido conmigo este post porque me ha parecido interesantísima tu reflexión.
    Aunque sí debo reconocer que yo no soy partidaria ni de un cachete.

    Te mando un besazo guapa

    AdoroSerMamá

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