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Sensación de libertad verdadera

sentirse-libre

Lo peor que puede haber en esta vida es sentirse “encarcelado”, dominado y obligado…. se tenga la edad que se tenga. Un poco de libertad, sentirse libre para escoger, en la medida de lo posible y en función de los años y de la madurez….. pero la sensación de libertad verdadera es vital para poder vivir.

Y es cuando tienes esa sensación de libertad verdadera que eres feliz; pero a veces para conseguirlo hay que dejar en el camino a compañías que no son adecuadas; liberarte de personas tóxicas; alejarte de vampiros emocionales y aprender a ignorar a muchas personas que lo único que hacen es entorpecer, lesionar tu salud emocional y no dejarte vivir la vida que quieres vivir.

Y que conste que borrarlas de un plumazo no es tarea fácil, porque a veces no sólo cuesta sinó que hasta que no somos conscientes de que nos perjudican no somos capaces de dar ese paso de dejar ir…..oye, y que tampoco te digan que es por comodidad…. simplemente es por salud mental y emocional.

¿Egoísta? pués según como se mire si.

Regala tu ausencia a quien no valore tu presencia

Regala tu ausencia y tu indiferencia a quien no te valore; pero no de

cualquier forma, auséntate emocionalmente. No lo hagas como una

forma de venganza, sino como una manera de protegerte.

Lo peor es cuando NO PUEDES porque NO TE DEJAN…. todo y que de forma LIBRE decides que te quieres alejar…. y encima no sólo no te dejan alejarte sinó que cae una losa encima tuyo porque te “obligan” a estar y compartir tiempo con esta persona…..por lo que te privan de toda libertad de decisión por el simple hecho de que eres menor y no teniendo en cuenta hechos y circunstancias que hablan por sí solas….. y lo único que se consigue con esto es, a parte de mayor rechazo, que emocionalmente te desequilibre, que la ansiedad forme parte de tu día a día, que la tensión invada tu cuerpo y que vivir se convierta en sobrevivir.

La edad es un grado también en estos temas

Y esto pasa cuando creces y te das cuenta por ti misma… de que con el tiempo la imagen que tenemos de las personas puede cambiar, lo que implica que desconocemos por completo a aquellos que creíamos conocer…. A mi me pasó en primera persona y tenía muy claro que ella debía darse cuenta por sí misma….. y ese día llegó….. y con él una montaña rusa de emociones, un huracán de rábia, miedos, ahogos, ansiedades,  y muchas preguntas que responder…. y lloros que calmar, heridas que curar.

Muchos años de lucha, años de duros procesos, años de ansiedades, nervios, dudas, incertidumbres…. en los que no ves el final…..y lo que es peor, no sabes ni cuál será ese final.

Años en los que a mi me cayó encima una losa tremenda en la que encima se me obligaba por ley a animar a mi hija a ir con su padre, todo y sabiendo que,  no sólo no quería ir con él sinó que el regreso era tremendo.

La justicia injusta

¿Cómo la justicia puede obligarte como madre a que “mandes” a tu hija a un lugar que ni tan siquiera quiere ir?

¿Cómo la justicia y un juez que ni sabe ni vive en propias carnes puede obligar a una menor a ir a un lugar del cual volverá enferma?

A mi no me cabe ni me ha cabido en la cabeza jamás…… y te juro que no he parado de luchar…. hasta que un día dije BASTA…. después de que mi hija sufriera el peor ataque de ansiedad que se puede sufrir con 14 años…. me juré a mi misma que NUNCA MAS la animaría o recomendaría ir con una persona de la cual yo también huí en su día.

Tras muchos años finalmente ella pudo hablar y expresarse con la libertad y la calma que se puede tener siendo una niña delante de un juez… a puerta cerrada…… Veredicto: suspensión del régimen de visitas, de las vacaciones, de los días intersemanales…..de todo.

Pero ¿hasta cuando?….

A voz de pronto fue una victoria para ella, pero se convirtió a la vez en su inseguridad permanente…. en un estado de alerta, ansiedad y de miedo…..porque todo y ser una niña, ella sabía que no podía ser “in eternum”…….

Y el cómo poder decidir por mi misma como si fuese mayor de edad sin serlo y que nadie la pudiese obligar se convirtió en su objetivo….. la madurez siempre la ha tenido; la cabeza bien amueblada también, y tozuda lo es un rato cuando algo quiere…..

Mamá….ya lo tengo me dijo hace escasamente un año….. existe la emancipación….. ¿me apoyas en este proceso en el cual yo de forma voluntaria e independiente puedo solicitarlo a la justicia?…. vamos a asesorarnos…..

Un proceso que no te negaré ha sido duro para una niña y más teniendo que “enfrentarse” cara a cara y en la misma sala con la persona de la cual quería “desprenderse”, “olvidar” y porque no decirlo… borrarlo literalmente de un plumazo de su vida …..

Ni que decir tiene que una vez más hija mía me has dado una lección de vida.

Tu fortaleza, tu constancia, tenacidad, valor, valentía son impresionantes, intocables, intachables e incuestionables. Lo has demostrado con creces…..

Tu discurso serio, templado, reflexivo, convincente, maduro, sensato, veraz, real y sin mostrar ni un ápice de emoción….. todo y los nervios de “enfrentarse” ante un juez, un fiscal en una sala donde también estaba él….. y yo a tu lado.

Oíste con 16 años, por desgracia cosas muy duras, fuertes, mentiras y la realidad del odio que una persona puede tener cuando las cosas no le salen como él quería…..

Has vivido en propias carnes que la vida no es un mundo fácil…. hay que luchar… pero tú has estado a la altura.

Eres un guerrera, mi guerrera. Y la sensación de libertad verdadera ahora ya sabes cómo es.

Felicidades mi niña emancipada.

La verdad es que intentarlo no solo merece la pena, merece la alegría.

Mamadedos

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