Diván Opinión

Madres tóxicas o madres que no aman a sus hijos

madres-tóxicas

Leía hace unos días un artículo en el País que pese a que me dejó la piel de gallina me hizo reflexionar mucho al respecto. Hablaba del Síndrome de los Progenitores tóxicos o lo que es lo mismo, Madres tóxicas, y se refería a las mismas como “aquellas madres que llegan a la maternidad por caminos poco deseables”.

Es un tabú de nuestra sociedad aceptar que hay madres que no quieren a sus hijas, pero es más real y frecuente de lo que nos gustaría reconocer. Como todo aquello que nos resulta difícil de aceptar y digerir, tendemos a negarlo. Pero existen, vemos a sus víctimas en consulta, peleando por llenar un agujero negro de infelicidad que arrastran desde la infancia y que en la mayoría de las ocasiones, ni siquiera es consciente, porque duele nombrarlo”.

Una vez más la educación “de antaño” ha hecho mucho daño en este aspecto también….se educaba a las mujeres a ser esposas y madres porque la sociedad así lo “marcaba”.

“La madre tóxica es una mujer que ha llegado a la maternidad por caminos poco deseables, por convencionalismos, porque así estaba diseñado su guión de vida, porque eso es lo que de ellas se esperaba.”

¿Por qué hablo ahora yo de éste tipo de madres?

Pues porque en mi deseo de ser y hacerlo bien me juré a mi misma cuando me convertí en madre todo lo que no haría….. y mucho de lo que me juré a mi misma son rasgos coincidentes en éste tipo de madres controladoras, narcicistas, desconfiadas, inseguras, prohibitivas, posesivas….

¿Acaso tú no te has preguntado en infinidad de ocasiones si lo estás haciendo bien?… pués yo sí… incluso qué tipo de madre soy… desde luego tóxica no…eso seguro….. pero si hay algo que corre en mis venas es el amor inconmensurable y desinteresado que tengo por mis dos hijas…. quizás por lo que las quiero yo no puedo entender cómo alguien no puede querer a sus hijos…. no me cabe en la cabeza.

¿Pero cómo es realmente una madre tóxica?

Ellas defienden a capa y espada que “aman”, pero hay amores y amores…. me refiero a que es un amor de lo más egoísta, interesado, a veces hasta asfixiante y que puede ser completamente destructivo.

Al igual que con los Vampiros Emocionales…..lo ideal psicológicamente es poner distancia emocional y física… pero claro está que hasta que uno no se da cuenta y ha crecido no puede borrar de un plumazo a una madre así.

Y como todo…. tiempo… o luto….. porque asumir algo así no es fácil; “La mayoría de las niñas que han sido criadas por este tipo de mujeres no son capaces de entender que toda su inseguridad, falta de autoestima, necesidad de aprobación, autoexigencia brutal, dificultad para la intimidad emocional y vacío profundo, procede de la falta de amor primario.

Asumir que tu propia madre no te quiso y no te quiere es uno de los procesos psicológicos y emocionales más difíciles de superar y con consecuencias devastadoras en todos los órdenes de la vida”.

“A esta indefensión crónica hay que sumarle la incomprensión de los otros, una sociedad dispuesta a mirar para otro lado ante una realidad tan antinatural.

Aquellas mujeres que fueron criadas por estas madres tóxicas llegan a dudar hasta de su propia salud mental porque a años de maltrato emocional, de tortura psicológica, hay que sumarle el silencio y la falta de apoyos.

Ya sabemos hoy por hoy en función de los numerosos estudios que se han hecho que la falta de amor parental crea estructuras psíquicas desorganizadas que afectan a muchas áreas de la personalidad.

El rechazo y la falta de amor materno producen un estado crónico de avidez afectiva y un miedo patológico al abandono”.

Mamadedos

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    A mi una de las cosas que más miedo me da es no hacer las cosas bien pero si algo tengo claro es que quiero a mis hijos por encima de todo y me da mucha lástima que algún niño no pueda disfrutar de este amor incondicional.
    Espero que poco a poco estas cosas sean menos tabú y esto ayude a que puedan entender que lo que les pasa no es su culpa.

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