Opinión

Los hijos únicos van en aumento

Capturadepantalla2014-10-30alas11.16.47

Ultimamente las familias con hijos únicos están aumentando y la verdad no me extraña con la que está cayendo…. desde luego, y por triste que parezca, es la mitad de barato y te ahorras muchas preocupaciones y disgustos…. (pero yo estoy encantada de tener 2 niñas… conste en acta).
¿Motivos?… además del económico podemos decir que “nos ponemos tarde” a tener el primero (bueno, yo no) así que el retraso en la edad de la maternidad sería una de las principales causas; la dificultad de la conciliación de la madre, compaginar familia y trabajo es ardua tarea para la madre actualmente; o simplemente que muchas parejas con un hijo ya ven “colmado” su instinto o muy común suele ser que esperas tanto para tener el segundo que se pasa el arroz o simplemente no se ven de nuevo entre biberones, tetas y pañales.
Los motivos no es el objetivo del post de hoy, yo quiero desmitificar esas sombras que rodean la “hijo único” tales como el egoísmo, la desadaptación y el que son solitarios…. porque señores…. VAN MUY ERRADOS y los digo yo que soy hija única.
Me da rabia que el concepto de hijo único vaya asociado, además, a una extrema protección y mala educación porque estos adjetivos van directamente ligados con la educación que dan los padres.
Según la psicóloga argentina Gabriela Ensinck, la dependencia de los padres, el consentimiento, la sobreprotección, introversión, y otros calificativos, no son sólo características de los hijos únicos, si no que se deben, en la mayoría de las veces, a la manera como los padres los educan.
El hijo único si crece con demasías ideas de vencedor es debido a que sus padres proyectan en él sus propias ilusiones y siempre le exigen dar lo mejor de sí mismo, así que  será él el que sufrirá los miedos y equivocaciones de sus propios padres… con esto lo digo todo.
Yo por suerte he tenido unos padres muy concienciados en todos estos aspectos, y siempre me educaron para no tener “los estigmas típicos” que rodean al niño que no tiene hermanos.
Así que en mi empeño de “desmitificar” ese mal llamado “síndrome” te diré que los hijos únicos no son solitarios, ni son más egoístas que el resto, al contrario… te diré que son, por lo general, personas que “dan mucho a los demás” y son generosos y respetuosos.
El tema del egocentrismo o de ser “engreídos” es otro cantar.. no creo que por el hecho de ser único sea más o menos proclive a ello y además el ser engreído dependerá de la educación y la responsabilidad de sus padres.
Y volvemos a lo de siempre… las terribles ETIQUETAS que tanto dañan a la autoestima, sobretodo de los niños…. 
¿Consejos?… te daré los que “mamé de mis padres” porque yo soy Mamadedos, pero sirven igual para cuantos hijos tengas.
-Evitar sobreprotegerlo y controlarlo todo el día, dale “alas”.
-Potencia que se relacione con otros niños, en la guardería, en el parque o con amigos.
-No lo presiones, ni vuelques sobre ellos excesivas expectativas.
-Acepta y respeta sus defectos igual que sus cualidades.
-Juega con ellos, recuerda que el juego es el mejor modo de socialización, através del cual aprenden las reglas sociales como saber ganar y perder, esperar turno y mucho más.
-Busca formas de entretenimiento, y con esto me refiero a que poca TV, poca Tablet o nintendo.
-No te olvides que el sentido común ayuda a educar, déjate guiar por él y seguro que acertarás……a ser padres nadie nos enseña……

Y para terminar mi retaila de ho me permitirás que hija única que soy os confesaré algo…. nunca en mi niñez me sentí sola, al contrario…. mis padres siempre procuraban que estuviese rodeada de niños…. fui a la guardería, los fines de semana con amigos… siempre había planes… y si no… jugaba con ellos. Con esto te quiero decir que no he tenido ningún trauma por ser la única hija de mis padres, ni me he sentido sola en la infancia…. si que es verdad que cuando creces, creces y creces…. y falta alguno de tus padres tienes un sentimiento de medio soledad…. y que imagino que cuando ya faltan los dos… esa soledad se asoma… porque no nos engañemos… por mucho marido e hijos que tengamos…. siempre nos apoyamos en nuestros padres.
Mamadedos

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431 Comentarios

  • Responder
    Martika Perez
    13 noviembre, 2014 at 7:22 am

    Ay, entre el grupo de padres con los que nos juntamos, hay dos padres y madres de hijas únicas. Los padres son más "dejados", o parece que no arman tanto escándalo cuando les pasa algo a sus hijas. En cambio las madres… Bueno, una es muy protectora -cosa que la niña no necesita, ya que es muy madura-, y la otra es menos protectora, pero en cuanto le tocan a la niña, salta.

    Reconozco que con los primeros hijos, estamos más pendientes, más preocupados por que no se hagan daño… Con los segundos, esa posible independencia que les dejábamos a los primeros es todavía mayor. Suelen buscarse ellos mismos las soluciones a los problemas.

    Buenos días, Bea!

    • Responder
      Bea
      14 noviembre, 2014 at 10:01 am

      Tal cual…. y como hay de todo en la viña del señor. Yo cuando sólo tenía a beita…. fueron 8 años de hija única ni por un momento la crié como eso, al contrario. Si que es verdad que de los primeros se está más pedndiente, los segundos van solos y los terceros son unos supervivientes!!!!!

      Bromas a parte….. sea cual sea la decisión familiar a la hora de tener hijos…. los padres somos los principales "estigmatizadores" con la educación que les damos.

      Gracias cielo

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    Besos.

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