Muy MamádeDos

Estar en bucle

bucle

Siempre me he auto considerado una persona psicológica y mentalmente fuerte, ni más ni menos que otras, simplemente fuerte…(vaya consideración de una misma que se barre de un plumazo) hasta que de repente te das cuenta que has entrado en un bucle, por primera vez en tu vida el bucle se ha apoderado de ti y la fatiga emocional y física que provoca es tremendo, y es que la maternidad no sólo tiene sombras, la maternidad a veces tiene un lado muy negro y oscuro.

Ser consciente de ello por ti misma ya es bueno, (me autoconsuelo) pero el sentirte atada de pies y manos y ver que no eres capaz de “controlar” la mente, calmarte, cambiar los pensamientos, actitudes sabiendo perfectamente la teoría de cómo se debe salir y lo que se debe hacer te crea un sentimiento de impotencia que hace que el bucle se estanque hasta más si cabe y la impotencia se apodere de tu mente y te sientas aún peor.

Auto juicios, culpas y remordimientos de madre

El rebote del bucle hace que abusemos de auto juicios, culpas, remordimientos, y que nos juega malas pasadas por haber tenido expectativas ante un acontecimiento y que lo que esperábamos no se cumpliera; haber tomado una decisión errónea…te auto culpas y te cuestionas todo, y cuando digo todo es todo: porque estar en “mode bucle on” no es por una circunstancia “x”, es esa circunstancia la que hace que el vaso se llene y entonces entran las circunstancias de la “A a la Z”…. y sale todo.

Estar en bucle, pensamiento ruminate, estar anclada es tremendamente angustiante y ya no se trata de fortaleza psíquica sino más bien de disciplina y persistencia.

Quiero salir y voy a salir.
Quiero salir y estoy saliendo.
Pero ¿sabes una cosa?….. para salir de estos bucles necesitas, además de mucha fuerza de voluntad, hacer caso a tu médico de confianza, pero lo más importante es el APOYO de quien tú elijas… Y a mi este apoyo me lo han dado mi círculo de confianza (entre otros), personas que son importantísimas en mi vida, que han venido a quedarse, y que además de sentirme escuchada, valorada y animada han estado al pie del cañón y lo que es más importante han sabido estar… ¿que porque digo esto? porque cuando alguien está en bucle no es fácil estar y saber estar. Y ellas han estado a la altura.

Gracias porque me habéis mandado la luz necesaria para coger fuerzas y salir.
Gracias por estar.
Gracias por saber estar.
Gracias por respetarme.
Gracias por escucharme.
Simplemente gracias.

Mamadedos

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63 Comentarios

  • Responder
    Anónimo
    28 junio, 2016 at 5:40 am

    Me ha encantado tu manera de explicar el Bucle" soy muy Fan tuya.
    Eres una Gran Luchadora y con un par de … Y si no puedo decir nada más, porque lo has explicado cómo nadie.
    MUY MUY GRANDE!!!!
    Un besazoo Lili

  • Responder
    Eva Escorihuela
    28 junio, 2016 at 9:20 am

    Que malo es y qué mal se pasa, como tú dices todos sabemos la práctica y dar consejos es fácil, pero que diferente es aplicárselos uno mismo. Tu luz es mucho más grande que tus sombras, así que quiero ver a esa Bea guerrera, positiva, dinámica que también tiene derecho a entrar en bucle.

    Te quiero mucho.

    Eva

  • Responder
    Eva Escorihuela
    28 junio, 2016 at 9:20 am

    Que malo es y qué mal se pasa, como tú dices todos sabemos la práctica y dar consejos es fácil, pero que diferente es aplicárselos uno mismo. Tu luz es mucho más grande que tus sombras, así que quiero ver a esa Bea guerrera, positiva, dinámica que también tiene derecho a entrar en bucle.

    Te quiero mucho.

    Eva

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    8 julio, 2016 at 11:24 am

    Para allá, un pasito fuera, medio pa'dentro, vamos a la izquierda… En fin…

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