Opinión

El “destete” de los adolescentes

adiosmama

…..porque también es un destete a su manera……  

Como madre de pre adolescente son muchas las ocasiones que me he parado a pensar que  “ya toca” empezar a labrar el camino de la “ciertaindependencia” pero bien verdad es que tal como va todo (educación, trabajo) tendremos niñas para rato (y no lo digo de forma despectiva).
No te negaré que ciertos miedos me asaltan (y si tengo la regla ya ni te digo) miedos, miedos que si no los controlo me pueden llevar a una sobreprotección más que nada para librarla de experiencias desagradables…. yo ya pasé por ello….
Libertad, autonomía, independencia pero responsabilidad….. y ¿cómo coño le explico yo todos estos valores?… porque van relacionados entre si… pero visto lo visto…. hay muchos jóvenes que no lo entienden y creen que ese deseo de libertad, el ser autónomo no va acompañado de responsabilidad.
En la adolescencia quieren ser libres a cualquier precio (free free) y muchos se oponen de forma drástica a las responsabilidades que marcamos los padres por lo que se entra en un bucle-conflicto continuo que no quiero ni pensar….. lo se…. es un proceso madurativo que han de pasar (psicológicamente lo se, pero como madre me niego).
El otro día ya lo comentaba en mi aportación a Hay vida más allá de los 6, cuando hablaba de las AMISTADES…. y es que a esa edad los padres pasamos a un segundo término y los amigos se convierten en sus paños de lágrimas y en muchas otras cosas más… SUS REFERENCIAS….. (miedo, miedo).
Ir de moderna por la vida (psicológicamente te diré que NO… JAMAS…. como madre te entiendo porque yo he caído en esa tentación MALEFICA). Nuestros hijos jamás nos van a explicar TODO LO QUE QUEREMOS SABER aunque cantemos PITBULL en la ducha. Así que o entras en fase JAMES BOND o no te vas a enterar de que se está cociendo….. 
La intimidad es necesaria para su desarrollo psicológico y por muy jóvenes que seamos (que lo soy) por edad y por las vivencias y experiencias JAMAS PODEMOS ESTAR A SU NIVEL. (no sabes lo que me está doliendo este HARAKIRI que me estoy haciendo)….
Así que lo único que nos queda es un trabajo interior como padres muy importante para más que nada no nos de un JAMACUCO llegado el momento…. y tener asumido y aprendido LA QUE SE NOS AVECINA… que todo y así entraremos en estado de colapso seguro….
¿Quién nos dijo que sería fácil?
Mi madre desde luego a mi no…….

MAMADEDOS

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250 Comentarios

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    9 octubre, 2014 at 8:04 am

    Apunto todo esto para dentro de unos pocos años.

    • Responder
      Bea
      9 octubre, 2014 at 8:23 am

      … apunta apunta….. yo como voy por delante ya os voy contando

  • Responder
    Gloria
    9 octubre, 2014 at 11:35 am

    Glup! La verdad es que da miedo. Lo que hagamos mal en la infancia, lo pagaremos en la adolescencia, me equivoco?

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    Pues suerte. Yo tengo una hija de 13 años y estoy que me subo por las paredes.

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    9 octubre, 2014 at 9:54 pm

    Jajajaja, acabo de publicar un post sobre mis miedos y veo que tú también usas esa palabra muchas veces en el tuyo.
    Siempre he pensado que la educación, la manera de relacionarte con tus hijos, el ejemplo que les des, la confianza, el apoyo y el dialogo son la base para todas las etapas. Y aunque la adolescencia es una de las difíciles creo que todo pasa y es el momento de ver todo los bueno que has hecho durante el tiempo anterior.
    Nota: Es ley de vida no contar TODO a los padres, pero en nuestro caso hemos contado casi todo lo que se podía contar y siempre hemos tenido su apoyo.
    Besos y ánimo (que todos hemos sido cocineros antes que frailes)

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